The Three Keyboard Minimum is Strictly Enforced: Part 1

I attended the Treasure Island music festival this weekend, saw lots of cool bands, and have lots of highly informed and sophisticated opinions for the proffering.  Behold!

Since atmosphere is everything..let me briefly sum up my some very general experiences with the concert, as all my opinions are beholden to it.  

Firstly: I won tickets to both days!

The free-ness of this (for me) event affected my opinions (positively, I think) throughout the weekend.  Like many frugal young men, I'm usually conscious of trying to get my money's worth out of a ticket purchase. After a couple of the sets I'd be thinking, "damn, that one totally made it worth the money," then I'd remind myself that I paid exactly zero and think, "man, that was definitely worth leaving the comfort of my apartment for" and so on. 

Second thing you should know--I did not see all the bands or even try to.  I was definitely of the mind that in order to "hear every note" of music at the 2-day affair (very possible) one would be compromising any real ability to see actual "shows."  Basically, it's the idea that if you're not close to the stage or as I like to say "up in the mix" you're not really at the show.  If you're way back in a field you're more of a casual observer and to my mind are not having "the full experience." For some reason that paragraph was laden with "quotation marks" denoting "specific phraseology" that seemed to "require it" at the time.

On to the show:

The best set that I saw was without a doubt TV on the Radio.  These guys brought it hard and distorted.  I had been geeking out to their records for the last few months, so I was primed for a good time, and so we staked a spot early (forgoing some other decent acts) and were right in front for the set.  A good performance should do (at least) one of two things:  1. Hook you into liking songs (or the band itself) that you've  never heard before or 2. significantly enhance the songs you already know from the record, adding to and expanding what the recording has to offer.   TVOTR did both, but particularly the latter of the two.  They were the complete opposite of boring.  They had energy, they had horns (courtesy of Antibalas), they had shitloads of soul, and their guitar player had chimes hanging from the headstock of his Telecaster.  And also Kyp was really really awesome.

They played some songs from their new record (which is out Tuesday and which, I heard from my friends who are significantly more download-savvy, is great) but also killed the first three songs off Desperate Youth, Bloodthirsty Babes.  "Wolf Like Me" off Return to Cookie Mountain was also a fuzzed out highlight.  On their records, they use this technique where they augment the lead vocal with another that's an octave above on a lot of the tracks.  It creates a very distinctive sound and is awesome.  Even awesomer was (after seeing photos of the band) realizing that Kyp (see above) does this vocal.  Both him and Tunde are bad ass singers, and the whole band just rocks really effing hard.

I saw Hot Chip on Saturday, and I really dug them.  This was a band I hadn't really heard much of...and based on what I knew didn't think they'd work so well playing at 3PM in a not super crowded field.  But they sounded great with like four keyboards and lots of percussive stuff going on and people on stage running around and switching it up.  They were a nice surprise, because their records sound like straight synthed-out dance music, so when they had a drummer and full rock-a-thon band going, it was cool.  I was a bit farther back for this one, but close enough to feel good about it.

I was front and center for  Goldfrapp as well, mainly because I was saving an awesome spot for TVOTR who were up after them.  My friend described them to me before the show as "music that a girl listens to while cleaning her bedroom."  I found that description to be really vivid and fairly accurate.  Not my style at all.  Euro-scenesters who wore all white and rocked (at one point) two keytars simultaneously.

CSS seemed like they could be cool at one of their regular shows (i.e. a packed and sweaty club with tons of dancing), but by this point in the night I was kinda zonked and didn't feel much like pushing into the fray near the stage.  I watched most of the set, but from afar, so I can't really count this one. LoveFoxxx looked cool though.

The aspect of these festivals that makes all my friends (and often me) cringe is that you can't help but get a diluted version of these bands, and it's not really the same as seeing their proper show.  Because of the stage proximity problem, you have to pick and choose a few solid experiences...but truthfully, even if I could have an easy shot at seeing 10 awesome bands in a row right up front under the best possible conditions, I simply couldn't handle it.  I mean, my aged feet and back couldn't handle it, but also my mind couldn't hang.  After a couple, my senses are overloaded.  I need to go home, digest and analyze, and reboot the machine.

ready to roll,

rob

Prattletoads

No news.  The Dark Queen haunts my waking life.

This game is ridiculous.

Must prioritize my life.

B-Toads Update

Day 3: Last night I played through the Elevator Shaft and on into the Gargantuan Ducts...where I promptly withered and died. I had been playing a decent but not stellar game, and this fact may have helped.  Forward progress in the game is becoming increasingly based on memorization 

I was confused on this point but now I feel sure: I have never seen the level beyond this one. This means I'm back at my 12-year old ability level after three days of playing.  Onward!

Also--check this out:

http://www.battletoadsmovie.com/

Must be fake, right?

Join Me in My (Eventual) TRIUMPH!

Dear NightMarchers,

I really want to keep you updated as to what's going on in my life these days.  Something really quite big has come up:

Check it!

When my friend forwarded this to me, I went through a range of emotions.  Naturally, I immediately called the rankings of "Most Difficult VideoGame Ever" into question.  I mean...it was total popularity contest, with no mention of such ridiculously difficult games (from my own experience) such as Kid Chameleon, Gauntlet, Snake Rattle and Roll, or Hudson's Adventure Island.  But these arguments are a trifle, and we all know it.  Once my initial ire had calmed,  I immediately knew what my path would be.  Spurred on by this far-from-definitive Internet list, I set my sights on the game in the top spot.  Lucky for me, it was one I knew well and still owned in its original format.  If you made it through the video, you know I am referring to Battletoads for NES.

Each level is like a different game.  You only get three measly continues.  The Wikipedia article even acknowledges how tough the damn game is.

A little background on my relationship with the Toads of Battle:  like many games I've played and/or owned I've always harbored a lust to conquer it completely, and I've made several earnest attempts throughout the years to do so (alas, in vain!).  Even while my brain was disputing it's newly given rank of "most difficult" I knew from experience that it was, at the very least, extremely difficult and therefore worth my renewed attention and vigor.  In addition to that, I was already well-trained in the nuances of the game, so I wouldn't be starting from scratch at all, simply building on an already impressive skill set.  Furthermore, when I've "re-attacked" these old games in my "adult" life, I like to think that my general skills have improved and that my age and experience has produced a sort of "wisdom" that allows me to reach my goals a bit easier.  Unlike my life-defining experience with Snake Rattle and Roll in 2003 (a game that was made impossible to beat without a simultaneously playing partner) Battletoads, while having a two player option, is actually (appearing to be) significantly easier with one player.  With no liege to train, I begin.

Day 1 (Sunday):

Played for a couple hours, where it was quickly determined that a. 2-players simultaneous is significantly more difficult to manage (reasons of friendly fire primarily) and b. James is not nearly as well-versed in the game after several attempts as I am at baseline.

Achieved level 6 (Snake level) fairly easily but this presented the first significant hurdle.

Conquered and moved on to the Fire Pit area, and subsequently the Elevator Shaft.  Got stuck there.

Day 2 (Monday):  Blew through all previously defeated levels, made it to the Elevator Shaft (level 8) with multiple lives and zero continues wasted.  I got all the way to the boss and blew it.  I was so disgusted with myself and did not wish to continue the game.  Must remember to be watchful for this phenomenon.  In retrospect, I should have played through my allotted continues for the practice.

I will keep you updated on my progress so that you may share in this wonder of Nintendo prowess and/or marvel at my life's lack of significance in this arena.

rob 

Where Did the Time Go?

Dear Future Celebrities,

Having plumbed the depths of description for The Chop's everyday life and times, I've decided to delve a bit deeper and start looking at the root causes and themes recurrent in The Chop mythology. Here I refer (quite pretentiously) to video games.

Video games were always a huge part of all our lives. But there's a few in particular that I myself played incessantly: for hours, days, months, and in some cases years on end. These select few games got played into the ground, forever imprinting themselves on my (and in most cases our) collective psyche, and will now be discussed in a segment I'm calling "Where Did The Time Go?"

Installment 1: Street Fighter II: The World Warrior


Street Fighter II  changed my life. There is absolutely no denying this fact. I was probably about 10 or 11 when a console got installed into my local foodery, and Street Fighter II entered my life. The Newport, DE 7-11 (which comes up a lot in Chop lore) is a 20 minute walk from my parents house.  This walk, which is easily and often made, became all the more appealing with roll of quarters in my fist and the promise of hand to hand (or in this case hand to button) competitive fighting.  I played a lot of this game.

The appreciation of video games, particularly those that are chronologically and graphically outdated, is something all Chop brothers share.  There's something about when a game, or more accurately a style of game, hits the crest of a wave and reaches a golden moment of perfect form.  For one-on-one fighting games, Street Fighter II was this moment.  I seized this moment (as well as thousands of other moments) to stand in front of this machine and play the shit out of this game.

The premise of the game is simple.  Fighters from around the world fly in private jets to fight each other on Russian factory floors, in the crowded streets of Hong Kong, or in the large private bathrooms of the Japanese aristocracy.  The gameplay is also pretty straightforward: 3 kick options and 3 punch options and really only a small number of combinational moves somehow translated to (seemingly) limitless hours of entertainment.  This was a game where the natural inclination to mash buttons was rewarded in spades, but to chalk up SFII as a "button masher" is not doing it justice.  It was just sophisticated enough to capture the nation's minds and just universal enough to simultaneously set our hearts aflame!  All this led directly me to play the living crap out of this game.

The Stats:

Favorite character:  although I eventually migrated over to using Chun-Li, I gotta go with Blanka on this.  His ferocity and overall yellowness wins out.

Total amount of time squandered/cherished: At least a full week's worth of my life

Readiness to take on a new challenger:  Super-fucking ready (bring it!)  

The Gil Reunion Tour: Recap!

Here's a few choice moments, captured on film this past weekend as The Chop headed Eastward, over treacherous mountains, through Reno backalleys, across the Salt Flats, and into the sparkling sprawl of Salt Lake City:

Reno Party Time!

James before he "does his face"

Our name on the marquee in SLC!

A summary of what we ate and/or almost ate on this trip:

Arby's (almost! Tom's Arb-dar was on the fritz for the first couple of hours), In and Out, Arby's, Broasted Chicken (almost! It would have been an extra 45 minutes!), Arby's, $0.75 tacos, Dum Dums, lots of Michelob and some desert-heated whiskey straight from the bottle. 

The Chop needs vegetables.

Download The Chop's New Record FREE!

Dear Everyone,

It's been a long road.  There were many setbacks, many triumphs, and many lessons learned.  It is here:

Please download it, enjoy it, and share it with everyone you know.

Thank you,

The Chop